On Shraaddha

 Death ends a life. 

But it does not end a relationship;which struggles on the survivor's mind, towards some resolution which it may never find. 

-  Robert Woodruff Anderson

Whenever, someone asks me the question “Do you believe in Shraaddha?”,  the first thought that comes to my mind is the meaninglessness of that question. 

When bereavement happens, our heart and mind become so unsettled. 

“Why this?” 

Memories come rushing back - pleasant ones, unpleasant ones, regrets, unfulfilled desires, promises made, kept and broken. Depending on the depth of the relation with the dead, we are shattered to that extent. Is it not but natural to desire intensely to communicate in some way with the departed? How nice it would be, if only we could…

As the time passes, the intensity of emotions tapers down, but memories, keep surfacing. At times, there are reminders of emptiness created by the loss of that dear one. 

If we go logically, death is the end. Period. It is an iron curtain, and those who cross it are lost forever for those on the other side. As DVG, a great Kannada writer and thinker puts it, 

“none has come back, 

and none brought news” (from the other side)”. 

But is it the only aspect? What about the “struggle in the survivor’s mind”?  Can I be logical all the time, especially when a storm like bereavement is feeling like taking away the very ground under my feet?

So, I device physical and mental ways to deal with it. Some of the obvious choices - work, exercise, travel, long walk, solitude, pouring out to patiently listening friends (If I am lucky to have them).

But can this be prescription for everyone? Many would be so muddled in their minds, and with strong waves of emotions from the heart. So they naturally would become “immobile” mentally, and many times, physically.

So, the wise, contemplating people, who could dispassionately look at things devised a structure of rituals for dealing with this. Each religion has its rituals for the dead (or if you are a non-believer, for the living!). The grieving are guided by all the sober people around to go through them, which settles them down to a great extent.

This is true irrespective of the belief of afterlife.  

Now, a bit of thinking about the afterlife:

I have my house, my car, my laptop, and so on…

I have my parents, siblings, friends, foes and so on…

I have my head, hands, legs, and so on…

But, who am “I”?

If I close my eyes and try to become aware of my body, thoughts, sounds and sights (even with closed eyes - it could be dark, bright, colourful or bland) and become aware of the “experiencer”, it does seem that “I” is very different from all the above.

One of Zen’s Kons (questions for contemplation) is:

“What were you like, before your grandmother was born?”

By things such and like, I take a leap of faith - “I” am indestructible - death is only destroying my body, but not “Me”.  What happens to “Me”?

Bhagavad Gita Chapter 15 verse 8 states:

शरीरं यदवाप्नोति यच्चाप्युत्क्रामतीश्वर: |

गृहीत्वैतानि संयाति वायुर्गन्धानिवाशयात् ||

śharīraṁ yad avāpnoti yach chāpy utkrāmatīśhvaraḥ
gṛihītvaitāni sanyāti vāyur gandhān ivāśhayāt

Translation

As the air carries fragrance from place to place, so does the embodied soul carry the mind and senses with it, when it leaves an old body and enters a new one.

With my body destroyed, I don’t have physical instruments of sight, sound, smell, taste and touch. But I do have mind, which is the principal sense (and thus root cause of all evil :-) ). So, I can only connect at a very deep level - with the huge “network”  of  “collective conscious”, as Karl Jung called it. 

So, is it not a reasonable proposition that if my kin try to connect with me at a deep level, I feel happy and satisfied? 

The question is “How do my kin connect with me at deep level?”.

The answer is not so simple. We have to have faith in what our ancient Rshis and Yogis have experienced in their deep meditative state and prescribed and follow those rituals, with the best of “shraddhaa”. ( ेश्रद्धा - devotion).

Over a period of time, the grief heals and remembering ritual becomes an occasion for all the clan to get together, and create happiness for the departed.

In our culture - “7 generations” is a term that is quoted in many times and contexts. In our typical scenario of yesteryears, a man and woman would get married early enough to see their great grand children. Possibly because of  this, we take names, do Namaskarams and offerings to great grand parents.  So my generation + 3 previous generations + 3 following generations becomes “7 generations”. 

Going by the theory of Karma and reincarnation, it is quite possible that while we are trying to do the rituals connecting with the departed, they might have taken birth already in a different body. What then is the meaning of the ritual?

I feel that two explanations to be appealing 

- Many a times, we get feeling of joy or sorrow, without any apparent reason. Could it be that we are connecting at a very deep level to the “collective consciousness”, and thus are affected by thoughts and feelings of those with whom we were associated in our previous birth?

- If we take the act of performing Shraddha, as contributing to the “good feelings fund” at the subtle level, which is accessible to the disembodied souls, could it be something like government pension fund of yesteryears -where the contributions are not directly mapped to withdrawals, person wise? So, each of us contribute in our period of “service” to a pension fund, and draw from that fund, not what we contributed, but a fraction of our last salary. In this context, the last drawn “salary” might be what we earned out of our good and bad karma. Also, contribution stops at the end of service; similarly, it ends for a soul when its great grand child dies.

Now, revisiting the question “Do you believe in Shraadhha?”,  do you “believe” in:

- Prayer meetings for the dead?

- Obituary announcements and eulogies of the dead?

- Computer printed cutouts in the locality proclaiming “emotional tribute” (भावपूर्ण श्रद्धांजली ) to the dead?

- Annual remembrance announcements of the dead ?

- Statues and memorials for the dead?

A final thought: 

Alexis Carrel. In his book, Man the Unknown, he states: “Our mind has a natural tendency to reject the things that do not fit into the frame of scientific or philosophical beliefs of our time.  After all, scientists are only human.   They are saturated with the prejudices of their environment and epoch.  They willingly believe that facts which cannot be explained by current theories do not exist.  At present times, scientists still look upon telepathy and other metaphysical phenomena as illusions.  Evident facts having an unorthodox appearance are suppressed.”

And, “the struggle in the survivor’s mind” goes on…